Time

Time...it has been ticking away...tick, tock, tick, tock.  Much more quickly that I ever imagined it would. If I've learned something in my lifetime, it is that time is that one, single thing that you don't get back. You can't buy time, there aren't do overs, go backs, extensions on the hour, even though everything  around us tells us that we can have it. We can have it all right?  No, not even close.   We get one shot with our time and I'd like to say I've used my time away from this family blog of mine ubber wisely, but the truth is, I haven't.  Once an outlet to put down my deepest thoughts while in the "season" of little ones, I now realize they aren't so little anymore. To be honest, my memory is slowly fading, so much like the snow on Easter Sunday in Alaska.  What will we remember 15 years from now?

Then they will ask.  My children and their children. Will we remember it all? Will we remember those pivitol moments in their lives? What was close to my heart during the multiple moves, during the great times and the growing times, during the times where my heart soared because they were learning so well how to do this life? And do this life well? What will keep on?  I can only pray that they know how much they are David and I's biggest love other than our relationship with God and each other.  What will I leave them with? I don't want them to wonder.  

I'm writing this as the fall air waifs through our 4th story apartment and my high school daughter plays a beautiful song she wrote on the piano....the beautiful music of life. Oh! How I love this....this thing that is right now.  Lord, help me not forget, still live in the present and look forward to the future you have for us all.  

The Painting.

Painting. I love painting. It's something I haven't done in quite may possibly have been years. I'm not talking about painting the kitchen, as much as I'd like to paint the beige or off white walls that have surrounded our family for a while now,  I missed being able to pick up a brush and just paint with colors on canvas something beautiful. Most of my childhood I painted.  Trees, horses, landscapes of beautiful mountains, and serene oceans. I painted in my teen years with oil, changing the brush strokes on the canvas, until after a couple of weeks, it was just right. Sometimes I woke up and just painted the picture I woke up with in my head with perfect clarity. Art provided me with an outlet during the most difficult, lonely, and ugly times in my life.
Fast forward to now. An opportunity came up to have a painting and baking party at our abode and a childhood giddiness welled up in me. I was thrilled to have a real excuse to create something.  We had snacks and a sweet friend had pre-baked her amazing world famous cookies for us to snack on while we baked and painted! It was a great night! I started painting a blue background as we all chatted and enjoyed each others company. Blue brush strokes back and forth until the whole canvas was covered. Then I started painting a tree. It was a strong tree with roots and limbs.  And there I left the painting.  Enjoying the wonderful people and stories about what was going on in our ever changing day to day lives.
Soon everyone started departing and saying their see you laters, while I picked up a little and came back to the painting I had just left to sit on the table.   Determined and knowing it was late, I decided to finish this tree painting I had started. I looked at the empty branches and started to paint the leaves different colors in a specific pattern I had painted hundreds of times before. In a very short time, I realized I was very much out of practice and probably needed to alter my approach.  This is when I started dotting eccentrically colored paint all over the branches covering them until I couldn't see them any longer. It was drastically worse.  This last realization slowly crept to my awareness and I decided that it would be best to do a painting that was "abstract" to salvage what was supposed to be a long awaited work of art.  Knowing that all the paint would combine to a brown if I mixed it too much, I still proceeded in hopes that I could make this canvas be beautiful by putting more paint on it, covering it entirely. Looking down at the final product, I saw just mud on a canvas.  All that to look at mud.
At that point I just wanted to wash it all off and start over. And so I marched over to the kitchen sink and starting rinsing the canvas off with water. I rinsed and rinsed thinking all the paint would wash away everything.   To my surprise not everything washed. The deep blue sky remained underneath, was now a faint blue surrounding the perfectly white, washed away tree.
I couldn't help but think, how we long for the perfectly planted roots that will make our life the beautiful, fruitful tree it should be. Why do we feel the need to throw things on top of it to cover it, hiding its beauty because of what we think it should look like? God has given us these roots, trunk, and branches to grow into the wonderful tree he designed us to be. Let God be the rain that washes away the gunk of this world.  If we will only let Him, His roots and trunk will show and grow into the most beautiful tree ever.

Love

The day of love is just around the corner and I realized just how long its been since I actually took the time to write the words" I love you" down on sticky notes. It was something I did all the time in lunchboxes and cabinet doors and it jolted me today to think about all the little reminders that God has for me during MY day that I am loved.  I have food and clothes and a roof over our heads and indoor plumbing (and for those of you in the lower 48 states...yes sometimes an outhouse is the common sight some parts  of Alaska.    Since we've been in Alaska, time has pushed forward and stood still all at the same time. Its very different than anything than I have ever experienced before.  

Today I really wanted to sit down and write. Write about how much I just love my little family, who ironically have grown entirely not little since we arrived here (Have I said my 10 year old is now wearing my clothes? ) It just seems to have gone much too quickly. 

My little girl is always willing to help and puts a smile on my face every time I see her. She is thoughtful of others and considerate of their feelings.  She loves to make things with her hands and give them away. God has blessed her with incredible love for other people and creatures that wonder the earth great and small. 

My little boy is full of energy and zeal. He is the one that will come up to me and say "Momma, I just....Love you" and squeeze me so tight and then run off and play. I hope that I can always be kind and gentle with his heart because one day he is going to be the leader in his family like his daddy is in ours.  Today Daddy got the crew ready for school today...Made eggs and turkey bacon and a big dose of love.  I am thankful for him and the Godly man that he is leading our family. I want to be better at following and I can only do that with God's help.  Snow is covering the ground now and I hear that  New England is also expecting some crazy amounts of snow today. With Alaska now a beautiful shade of white, I realize how much has been made clean and whole again in our lives because of what Jesus did for us, and how I need to appreciate every little thing as it is here. It will be all too soon that the snow will melt away and the seeds will be planted and the flowers will grow. They'll be picked and taken away to someones table where I don't see them as often but still know they are beautiful and are bringing joy and love to everyone who sees them.....

Come now, let us settle the matter,”
    says the Lord.
“Though your sins are like scarlet,
    they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
    they shall be like wool.

                                     Isaiah 1:18 

Interesting Friday....

  Its been pretty awesome exciting around these parts here in Alaska the last couple of months. We have to say that we are so so thankful for all of our family and friends old and new :)  We are settling in to this great wide open space with its chilly mornings, occasional earthquakes, hot chocolate, time with family and friends!  And do we see on the horizon a spring? Yes, spring is here. Today was 34 degrees and you saw about some with their T-shirt and flip flops.  People I could have sworn moved away popped up in our circle and said hi. All is joyful today the sunshine really makes me appreciate how the warm weather is coming!  
Have you ever just had a deep appreciation for what surrounds you?  I am truly been gifted beyond reason with blessings far from what I deserve,  with a amazing family and friends that I couldn't stand to think of without. Sometimes, God lets things happen that remind you.  REALLY remind you of how precious minutes are and how amazing He is when you trust. We tend to get involved with the ho-hum of the everyday and forget that there is beauty in everything! There is beauty in trial, there is beauty in pain, there is beauty in struggle.  God intends these things to make us better, stronger, and more appreciative of our circumstances.  
Friday was a day that was a little different than most.  We normally walk the trails to school and for this time with my "little" ones (in quotes because if you saw them they aren't even close to little)  I am grateful.  They are so sweet.  Owen especially  can be a little ball of energy sliding down the trails in his snowpants but I love that little ball of energy and it keeps me going.  There is a staircase that we take to get to the school yard. It has two pathways that meet coming from two different parts of the neighborhood that are on an incline.   Owen and Taylor both LOVE to slide on their knees down these hills towards the stairs almost every morning. :) Every morning I remind them that they can slide down "just look for moose first."  I mean look for moose on either side of the trail before  you slide so they don't run you over because, unlike the "if you give a pig a pancake" book it ends in, well, sadness. 
Moose aren't quite like bullwinkle.  They tend to stomp all their 1200 and up weight on to you if you spook them enough. And so on this pleasant friday morning Owen did his normal look both ways and slide down the hill, however our friend Diane, came walking toward us and warned us of a  moose by the stairs at the very bottom of the hill completely out of our field of vision.. no sooner had she said that she noticed my face. The moose had started running right towards us behind her. She and a couple other walking friends quickly jumped behind a tree on the trail.  Owen however had slid about 10-15 feet away from me and was still about 10 feet away from the other adults and had nowhere to go.  He quickly jumped to his feet and dove into the snowbank because there were no trees he could get to and remained completely still.  Taylor and I did the same. We quickly realized that the snow was not packed down.  We sank in the snow up to our thighs and squatted down, hoping the moose would keep running straight by us.  Unfortunately, he stopped right by the trees briefly then moved right square in front of Owen and stayed there looking around while my sweet son was completely unprotected. There was nothing I could do. If I moved to suddenly and freaked the moose out he would move forward and completely crush Owen and start stomping.  Was there anything I could do? Not on my own. I did it this simple act with tears streaming down my face silently and holding perfectly still. I prayed and I prayed and just looked up and prayed that God would save my son.  AND HE DID.  God is so faithful.  I don't know what else could make a moose just stop and not completely just end my poor sons life right there in front of me.  And slowly the Moose started walking further up the path. He walked square in front of Taylor and I this time and I prayed.  I saw his hair on his neck go up and his ears kind of move....I got ready to throw my sweet daughter down the hill. This is it, I thought. He answered my prayer but this moose is looking right at me and it doesn't look like he is calming down now.At that second I was thankful. Thankful that my son and daughter would be okay.  Then something amazing happened. It seemed the moose calmed down and instead of walking forward  toward us(they have pretty bad vision) he walked down and across the path in the other direction.  When he was far enough away we slowly, without any sudden movements pushed our way through the thigh high snow towards Owen where the other adults were coaxing him along into the woods to get down to the school. And here is our amazing news for the week, if you haven't heard it yet,  God is faithful,  so amazingly faithful! 

"Do not be anxious about anything, but by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:6,7 NIV

Invitations

An invitation. That's what it starts with. Just an invitation from someone. An invitation to go to coffee. An invitation to come over. An invitation that could be the start of something bigger.  Something bigger than a blank stare or a glance or just a kind "hi" passing by.  When looking from the outside, the new person, the one anyone has talked to yet and invitation can mean the difference between wondering if there is going to be a new adventure, new friendship,  or if you are going to become unsure or  awkward in this different, and challenging place that is completely unfamiliar and foreign in every way.  Everyone has been invited somewhere to something and we choose to accept or not. To go forward or hold on to the past not seeing there are greater things to come in the future. SO much more than we can ever think or imagine is in store!! God does that.  He pulls us out of our comfort zones so we can be the creative masterpieces that He has planned!!With that... we just wanted to say a HUGE THANK YOU! We have received soooo many amazing invitations since we moved here..I can't tell you how blessed we are by our new Alaskan family that didn't even know who we were and how thankful that we are that each and every invitation was extended in our direction.  It has been an absolute gift to not only our family but also to our faith.  Faith that God always has a plan. During the quiet and during the storms. During the comfortable times and the hard times that He works and molds our hearts so they will be open to hear the whispers of his guidance. Only If we so choose to listen to them, speaking ever so patiently and lovingly, will He be able to work on our hearts and lives of our family. I just hope that we can be even half as kind to you all as you have been to us. Thank you. 

This last couple of months has been a very different season in this family's life. We have had an absolutely amazing time bonding as a family, growing, taking long drives into the beautiful, blissful countryside of our Alaskan adventure with our bright orange(easy to find in a parking lot) jeep.  It also has been challenging in so many different ways, and yet through the darkness of this new winter there has been joy in sunrises and sunsets. There is joy and warmth in powdered snow.  White and pure. Every time I see it fall, a peace surrounds.  I think God is sending hugs down from heaven.  It's funny, even though snow is so very cold by itself, when it falls as a single snowflake...it seems to get warm when fluttered together.  We as people are the same. Fluttering together creating a warmth in the hearts of people that are touched by someone getting close enough to be love in action.   

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say I have been not keeping you all up to date on things around this great new adventure. We kinda dropped off for a little while but I do have to say, the more I have my I phone, the happier I am that I have it (for picture purposes of course). Especially when I have left my camera somewhere up on shelf while we were running out the door to who knows where. So how about we play catch up. Sounds like a plan to me!!
I believe I mentioned that Mike came and helped us unload when we first arrived. But I don't remember if I mentioned that he took us on a Grand tour of Anchorage. That was really super duper cool of him and then invited us to his church. Where for some of you, Steven Creekers, I have to say that seeing a securegive kiosk there made us feel right at home 4300 miles away.
My friend Nicole also came to our rescue when the moving truck showed up. She came and helped us unpack the truck space we hired to move here. Thank you sooooo much Nicole. We literally unloaded the whole contracted truck in 20 minutes with her and the truck drivers help. He said it would be more trouble to leave the back of the truck in our driveway than to help. I happened to bake some cookies which I think offset the hurried truck emptying extravaganza. :) But oatmeal was in them I think so that makes them healthy right? But I digress.......The kiddos were returning soon and we had a house to unpack and put together.
Everything was coated in a fine layer of road grime or something. Most of the assembled furniture didn't make the trip so well, so for all of you visiting we hope you don't mind its weathered "antique" look. Its the "in" thing right now anyway, right? Maybe a better plan is to be doing some furniture refacing on the darker days of winter.
Speaking of winter it is coming fast. There is already snow on the mountains higher up. The kiddos got back and it has been a mad dash to find gear. Snow boots check, indoor gym shoes-check, outdoor snow gear-check, ice skates-still looking but we have faith they will show up random while we are out somewhere. Ice skates....seems recreational however during the winter months the children are encouraged to go out to the schools skating rink after lunch to skate and to soak up the little bit of sun that appears around that time of day during those months. Whoa who would have thought? I'm thinking ROCK ON!
School is an all walking school, with paths all the way there. When the children returned, Dad held a what to do when wildlife attacks session. That was fun. Mamma moose and bears are crazy and we really need to be aware of our surroundings. They apparently hang out by our houses and on the trails. Someone even told me sometimes Bullwinkle will be staring at me through my kitchen window all quiet and covert. Just hangin out. Cool.
Grandma and Grandpa came and hung out with us and the kiddos for a couple of weeks, and what a blast it was to have an excuse to hang out and explore this frontier known as Alaska...Glaciers...Parks....flowers....mosquitos.....food (YUMM!) probably too much food ( not so good for the waistline), and salmon, salmon, salmon! We are now salmon spoiled for the rest of our earthly lives. Someone said to us that the welcome to Alaska cookie is fish. Seriously. We have been welcomed to the neighborhood with fresh caught fish 7 different occasions and it is the best we have ever had and will ever have. To all you amazing fishermen and woman out there, I am going to try next week...but don't hold your breath too long.

Something I probably will never hear preached in church again...

Today was a special day and as much as I love to write about this beautiful Alaska experience, I really felt I needed to blog this topic today. I don't know that I have ever heard a sermon like the one I heard today, nor do I ever think I will hear one like it again because of the content.
We were off to the church we have been attending for some time now that we have been in Alaska. To be perfectly honest we have tried a couple of churches here, as I'm pretty certain many of you do when you relocate to a different geographic area. In moving, I think most of us have this mental checklist for looking for the place we call our church home. For example, the quality of children's ministry, pastor "realness", how welcome you feel, praise and worship team (because if they are off key we must make note of that, even if we couldn't drown out our off-key-ness in a choir of 700), if you get a good space in the parking lot, and or if someone is chasing after you with a bible shouting "Repent sinner!!"as you run for your life out the door and vow never to return because you wore 'evil' blue jeans to church. Yikes! We just wanted to find where we "fit" is that so hard?
Rewind a couple of weeks. Our pastor was in an accident that he was injured and suffered pretty substantial injuries. The Sunday after his accident he talked to the church on the screen from his wheelchair telling us that his plan was to be there preaching and not in his current state but God had a different plan for that week for him. It gave some other people in the church an opportunity to step up and preach during his absence, even if they had never been a pastor or trained as a pastor before.
That leads us up to this special sermon that is very unique because it was preached by a man that was not a pastor. I cannot say enough of how God used this man to convey a perspective that would never be mentioned by a pastor. Prayer specifically for Pastors. Not only did the man humbly preach about the hardships of pastors but about pastors families and lives(something that if preached by a pastor himself may be considered in some view self-serving).
He researched surveys from pastors conferences and talked to pastors from all over. He asked them what was so difficult about being a pastor. He went on to say that he, himself had figured out as a young boy he wanted to be a pastor. When his mother asked why, he replied something along the lines of,"You work one day a week, take a nap after you work that one day, and get all the money that gets collected in the collection plate!" As we grow into adulthood we realize that is not the entire job but do we really know all about what our pastors do everyday for the Kingdom of God? How are we doing in supporting them?

Pastors work about 55-75 hours a week on a regular basis. Much of the time more.
They are on call all the time, everyday, for you and for me, regardless of what is going on in their own family lives. They take the time to be humble listeners, councilors, truth tellers, soul-feeders, inspiring, loving, caring, vessels in which God works through to help guide us in a stronger relationship with Him.

Pastors are the enemy's #1 target.
Why? Because when a pastor is allowing God to work through him, who is leading and inspiring his church and the people in the church to do God's will on this earth. It is the single biggest threat to the enemy. The enemy will stop at nothing to bring down these light-giving souls and he goes right for those things that are nearest and dearest to them.
It is spiritually dangerous. Isolation is a problem that was expressed by many pastors. Temptation taunts them from every angle. Not to mention people are watching their every move, listening to their every laugh, expression, and verbage as examples, sometimes subconciously waiting for them to say something to contradict the word of God. Seventy percent of pastors said they felt like they could not keep in their company, any close friends to share their deepest troubles or thoughts with. The reason? High expectations or perception of what the perfect pastor is supposed to be all the time as a person, to extend to his wife and children. The truth is we ALL fall short! There is no perfect pastor, just like there is no perfect person. They are humble servants that are willing to follow the calling that God has for them as should each of us.

Pastors families can suffer
Almost 80 percent of pastors wives feel like they must start or lead multiple ministries in the church and lead groups in their homes. Pastors wives also expressed the feeling of loneliness and isolation because church members tend to assume they are too busy or pastors wives would not associate with them because they must be 'too busy' with church activities. Many times this is not the case. They are often not invited to social gatherings because of this assumption. They also can experience the same critical and trust issues that their spouse experiences. With extra stressors such as these on the pastors family, 55% of pastors marriages end in divorce.


Pastors and their churches are criticized verbally
We all have critics. It happens that there will always be people who aren't happy with what pastors are doing. Pastors have a difficult task. A message is laid upon their heart to share with the congregation by God. They pray that God will use them effectively to convey His message. When criticzism is expressed it cannot be discounted. There is usually is some truth to what said. Pastors take constructive critizism with stride and try and improve on what they do. They strive for excellence because excellence honors God. It is still hard to take critizim when you have put your heart into something, especially if it not expressed in a loving, constructive way for the good of the body. I think that goes without saying when each of us does the same. Pastors try to lead by example and occasionally site examples of how they are trying to live the way God wants us to live in their sermons. It can be misinterpreted as bragging. Have you ever heard someone leave church saying. "Kinda sounded like Pastor_______was bragging in his sermon today" No matter how a pastor tries to express in a sermon what they are trying to get across, it doesn't come across to everyone the same. So, our Pastors can't win for loosing. You've heard the saying "You can please some of the people some of the time, all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time, but you can never please all of the people all of the time." This completely holds true here. Ephesians Chapter 4 describes what we are called to do for the Unity and Maturity in the Body of Christ. We all can and be aware of this, especially when thinking of our Pastors and how what we say and do affects the body. Statistics say that 1500 pastors leave the ministry each month. That's scary. So if you think what you say doesn't matter, think again. Words have power.
Critical eyes on not only pastors but churches as a whole are becoming more and more common. Four thousand churches begin each year, and 7000 close. Pastors lead the church, but we are still in it! We are part of what makes up a church..All those things that were in the critical mental checklist looking for a church that "fits" Are they things that we can somehow use our gifts and talents to shape them in the way we want them to look? Are we going to blame them on the pastor or see what we can do to contribute to make the church work together better in unity and to honor God in all we are doing?


With all that to say, I think that our Pastors have the hardest job on this earth. The pastors I have the pleasure of knowing have great joy in their hearts and share it through their sermons, actions, and words. They share all they have to further the kingdom of God. They put their hearts into everything they do, to shine the light of Jesus, to uplift us during trying times, share in our joys, guide us during confusing obstacles, and try and lead us on the path of righteousness toward a stronger relationship with our wonderful God.
It's our turn.
This month is Pastor appreciation month, however, we should let our pastors know just how thankful we are for them and pray for them and their families as often as we can. Prayer can move mountains, stop wars, and build cities. It can also equip our pastors with the tools they need to effectively fulfill what calling that God has placed on their lives.

So I just want to say to all the Pastors I know, Thank you! What you do matters in my life, the life of my husband, the lives of my children, and the lives of all the people that you interact with everyday. Because of the calling you chose to answer and were obedient in following, our relationship with God and family is better, I know my life has purpose and meaning and because of how you were able to communicate God's word, I understand and know how I am loved and can love because the gifts God placed in my heart to share. I know I am a child of God. I know I am a work in progress, but saved for eternity by Grace. All this God has allowed me to understand through your faith,love, words, and actions. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

>